Ecstatic Fanatic CD with different tracks Options

[BrokenGlass]

Back when my dad was alive, he worked for MCA. Whenever demos or early pressings of albums by bands I liked came across his desk, he would have his secretary make a copy for me. She would handwrite the track listings on the sleeve and everything.

I was a big Live fan before I went to college and one of the last things my dad brought home for me was a demo called "Ecstatic Fanatic" by Live. I listened to it a few times, forgot it at the house when I left for college in Boston, and basically forgot it until now.

Last week, a friend and I were talking about bands we loved in the '90s and Live came up. He was telling me all about how the band broke up, etc, etc. I asked what he thought of "Ecstatic Fanatic" since it was the last album I heard, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

We Googled it and found on Wikipedia that "Ecstatic Fanatic" was the original name for "V," which isn't uncommon at all. A LOT of the stuff my dad brought home had different names when they were finally distributed.

But the track listing for "V" didn't look right to me, and when I downloaded it from iTunes, the album didn't "sound" right to me, either.

I made the drive home last week and dug my "Ecstatic Fanatic" out of storage. I popped it into my computer and I was right, it sounds a lot different than "V" and there are tracks on "Ecstatic Fanatic" that aren't on "V" (and there are also a few tracks on "V" that aren't on "Ecstatic Fanatic" from what I can tell).

This is the track listing for "Ecstatic Fanatic" that I have:

"Tibetan Thunderstorm"
"Like a Soldier"
"People Like You"
"Deep Enough"
"Creed"
"Transmit Your Love"
"Fool"
"Flow"
"Cheetah"
"Overcome"
"I Am Not OK"
"River Town"

The sound is really different, very guitar heavy and rocking and "raw" if you know what I mean, like demos often are. No keyboards except for the piano on "Tibetan Thunderstorm" and that sounds like a real piano to me.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share since I wasn't sure if this version of the album was generally known to Live fans!

[SinfulEyes]

Back when my dad was alive, he worked for MCA. Whenever demos or early pressings of albums by bands I liked came across his desk, he would have his secretary make a copy for me. She would handwrite the track listings on the sleeve and everything.

I was a big Live fan before I went to college and one of the last things my dad brought home for me was a demo called "Ecstatic Fanatic" by Live. I listened to it a few times, forgot it at the house when I left for college in Boston, and basically forgot it until now.

Last week, a friend and I were talking about bands we loved in the '90s and Live came up. He was telling me all about how the band broke up, etc, etc. I asked what he thought of "Ecstatic Fanatic" since it was the last album I heard, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

We Googled it and found on Wikipedia that "Ecstatic Fanatic" was the original name for "V," which isn't uncommon at all. A LOT of the stuff my dad brought home had different names when they were finally distributed.

But the track listing for "V" didn't look right to me, and when I downloaded it from iTunes, the album didn't "sound" right to me, either.

I made the drive home last week and dug my "Ecstatic Fanatic" out of storage. I popped it into my computer and I was right, it sounds a lot different than "V" and there are tracks on "Ecstatic Fanatic" that aren't on "V" (and there are also a few tracks on "V" that aren't on "Ecstatic Fanatic" from what I can tell).

This is the track listing for "Ecstatic Fanatic" that I have:

"Tibetan Thunderstorm"
"Like a Soldier"
"People Like You"
"Deep Enough"
"Creed"
"Transmit Your Love"
"Fool"
"Flow"
"Cheetah"
"Overcome"
"I Am Not OK"
"River Town"

The sound is really different, very guitar heavy and rocking and "raw" if you know what I mean, like demos often are. No keyboards except for the piano on "Tibetan Thunderstorm" and that sounds like a real piano to me.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share since I wasn't sure if this version of the album was generally known to Live fans!

Very cool! Any chance of sharing this with the community?

[Bremang]

Welcome!

I'm sorry about your Dad. It seems very nice of him to have given you those rarities from his work.

Thank you so much for the story. I think I can speak for everyone that we're interested in what you have.

Can you upload any pictures of Ecstatic Fanatic?

And the big question is, would you be willing to upload the music? We would surely help you in the process and be very grateful.

[Redrock]

Best 1st post ever! Welcome

I too would love to hear the rough version of V

[Voodoo Lady]

Amazing! Welcome to the board. I would love to hear Ecstatic Fanatic too if you decide to share it.

[throwing_cheetahs]

This is the track listing for "Ecstatic Fanatic" that I have:

"Tibetan Thunderstorm"
"Like a Soldier"
"People Like You"
"Deep Enough"
"Creed"
"Transmit Your Love"
"Fool"
"Flow"
"Cheetah"
"Overcome"
"I Am Not OK"
"River Town"

The sound is really different, very guitar heavy and rocking and "raw" if you know what I mean, like demos often are. No keyboards except for the piano on "Tibetan Thunderstorm" and that sounds like a real piano to me.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share since I wasn't sure if this version of the album was generally known to Live fans!

I would love to hear these, as would most of us on here. I would be grateful.

TC

[Bremang]

Cheetah and River Town on that tracklist.

[throwing_cheetahs]

Cheetah and River Town on that tracklist.

yeah, i would love to add another version of cheetah to my collection for sure.

TC

[BrokenGlass]

Um, maybe I should ask if this thread can be deleted? Apparently, mentioning how my dad's secretary hand wrote the track lists for me got me pegged as soon as someone from the band emailed the label because it was an open secret in the Radioactive marketing department that he brought this stuff home for me. So someone knew exactly who I was and my MOM got a phone call tonight because that was the phone number they still had on file. Then I got a phone call from MOM. My wife thinks it's hilarious, but my mom said my dad's former boss is pretty pissed. Ugh. So I guess this is my open apology to the band, I promise not to post anything else about the other stuff my dad brought home, and I'd better bail. Sorry!!

[sellingthdrama]

Wow, what a turn of events! And sorry about your father, too. We needed another grail to chase anyway! This is like the second quest in Zelda - a version of V we might like.

[SJN1279]

Um, maybe I should ask if this thread can be deleted? Apparently, mentioning how my dad's secretary hand wrote the track lists for me got me pegged as soon as someone from the band emailed the label because it was an open secret in the Radioactive marketing department that he brought this stuff home for me. So someone knew exactly who I was and my MOM got a phone call tonight because that was the phone number they still had on file. Then I got a phone call from MOM. My wife thinks it's hilarious, but my mom said my dad's former boss is pretty pissed. Ugh. So I guess this is my open apology to the band, I promise not to post anything else about the other stuff my dad brought home, and I'd better bail. Sorry!!

Your Dad's former boss sounds like a complete tool, and it sucks that the band freaked.

Sorry for the loss of your Dad, but how awesome that he was able to get you some awesome unreleased music that you can still enjoy..

This post has been edited by SJN1279: Mar 26 2015, 9:34 pm

[Bremang]

Brokenglass, in case you haven't heard the full story behind your Ecstatic Fanatic Demo, please read on. It is possibly the most heartbreaking moment for the band and the fans. Live's music was essentially crushed by MCA, which first caused the pressure within the band that would dissolve their friendship.

The only good thing to come of it, was that Chad had answered a letter from the fans and posted it on his blog, about all the recordings the band has made. If you haven't read it, and if you have a few minutes, check out what he had to say about the V demo:

(For others reading on it's interesting to see that Chad named Chapter 13 of his book "The Turn")

V DEMO, 1999 (Los Angeles, CA) age, 28yrs.
MEDIA FORMAT: PRO TOOLS, DAT

Second only to the Shadow Hill recordings, there are a ton of unreleased tracks from this mid-tour session. We documented nearly two albums worth of material in two short weeks. The goal was to prepare songs for the next studio session. MCA got a hold of the material and pushed us to call it an album but it took over two years to finally release side-A of the demos originally titled “Ecstatic Fanatic.” MCA’s delays totally changed the feel of the once spontaneous demo into an album that had to really count for Live. It was released September 18, only seven days after the world trade center terrorist attach that would change the world. An independently produced video for Overcome made the cut to play in the short rotation of only 5 songs on MTV for more than 3 days. Everything about the “album” was wrong. The label, which was having great success with No Doubt wanted to re-image the band and spent a ton of money on a photo shoot for the album cover only to add grainy graphics so that the band was undicernable. It was fucking nuts. Live fans really take the piss out of this album but it was NEVER intended to be an album. It was always a spontaneous outpouring of material Ed had been developing on the road. Patrick wasn’t even in town for half of it. From my point of view, some of Ed’s finest songwriting occurs on the songs that were never included on the album (this was because it was supposed to be a give-away for the fans). We even tried to rush a release of Overcome to record stores all across the country to benefit the victims of 9/11 but the label wouldn’t donate their portion of the funds to the proceeds (seriously).

It just occurred to me that I really detailed a ton of this stuff in the first draft of “The Search for Public Affection; the story of LIVE.” This section was written awhile back but does hit the nail on the head. I will include it hear as a “thank you” to the fans that really have come along for this ride:

Chapter 13 “The Turn”

It was about six years ago when I openly declared to my close friends and family that the new media age had revolutionized our industry over night. I predicted that music sales would cause a selloff of minor labels to majors and later majors to majors. This would be an outright war for market share and I feared my own band would be lost in the shuffle.

We were on tour for The Distance To Here and on a short break began to work on the songs that would later find themselves on V. Ed was on fire. We could barely keep up with the frantic pace with which he was turning out new ideas. Patrick was at home with his family celebrating the birth of his daughter and the process was disjointed from a “band” standpoint. We were recording at good friends house with the drums on the patio and guitar amps in the living room. We spent little to no time perfecting the parts as we were only trying to capture the creative energy of the moment. It was fun but outside of the typical rehearsal writing sessions of the past. I thought, this will be how records are made in the future, cheap, fast and full of “in the moment” creative spirit.

By the time Patrick made LA, we nearly had two albums worth of material recorded. It was creative and recording overload but we wanted to surprise our fans with an album in the middle of a touring cycle. Fresh material with a loose feel, something we had never done. We didn’t want to over think anything, just immediately release a batch of new songs. They were experimental in many ways, lacking the traditional band arrangements that our fans had come to love but as a two-week long session of demos it was perfect.

We submitted the material to MCA/Universal, as RadioActive no longer existed. There was great debate at the label over a single. We suggested not releasing one as we wanted it to be “for the fans”, impromptu, live esc. – In the moment. It took MCA/Universal over a year to release the album. The project went from being titled “Ecstatic Fanatic” with a quasi-orgy painting by Peter Howson to “V”. The label insisted that bands needed to be on “the cover” and hired an insanely expensive photographer to revolutionize the bands image. We laughed, as we know our image was the anti-image. The photographer had arranged a series of “huge” fires that would be burning in the background. They turned out to be little barrels with barely a flame shooting out; total “Spinal Tap”. Gracey nearly killed the stylist for messing with his clothing or hair. This had nothing to do with the Live that came from the street of York, PA. This was all about market share. The funny thing is the photo shoot went so poorly that they added charcoal graphics to the picture and totally distorted what they were going for in the first place.

In our defense, we begged MCA to release the album the way we wanted but they had no interest. To our luck director Rob Cohen was a LIVE fan and placed “Deep Enough” in the opening scene of “The Fast and Furious.” To our disbelief, MCA turned down an offer from the production company to shoot a video on set by Rob himself. They had a partnership with MTV that would guarantee heavy rotation out of the box. You can’t make this shit up. They passed on “Deep Enough” insisting that “Simple Creed” was better suited for radio. This is on an album where we didn’t even want a single! Our management was going fucking nuts as you can imagine. I knew it was a sure fire sign that the close nit family that worked so hard to build Live was no longer in the drivers seat. Corporate shareholders were now the new priority in the “music” business.

Another huge moment can only a few weeks later. The producers for the “Mummy Return’s” called and asked if we would be willing to provide a song for the closing credits of the film. Ed wrote with Glen Ballard and they turned out “Forever May Not Be Long Enough.” I knew it wasn’t a typical Live song but then again, nothing about this album was making much sense. Ballard had the audacity to sit there and tell Patrick Dahlheimer, one of the most explosive rock bass players of his era to play one single note throughout the entire song. I walked out of the room laughing. This was fucked. Thankfully, the track worked well in the film but this wasn’t what I signed up for. Once again, the label did not want to work the song as a single but our management was able to convince them to at least let us shoot a video.

Hindsight is 20/20 but these were the number 1 and 2 top grossing films of the year with featured placement and absolutely no love from the label. I was sick to my stomach.

The label finally decided by committee that “Simple Creed” would be the single and a video was ordered. I had lost 35 pounds working out everyday to “look great” in the new media model of tits and ass. Shirtless with only a vest on I took on my new role as an actor in someone’s bad play. This shit had nothing to do with the dream Chad, Patrick and I started in Gracey’s bedroom in York. It had nothing to do with Ed’s lyrics on “Lightning Crashes.” This was all about the looming downturn in corporate revenue MCA was facing. We were fucked and stuck in an unbreakable contract.

All of the delays added up and nearly a year and a half after we finished a few “off the wall” demo’s MCA set a release date, September 18, 2001. Seven days after the terror attacks of 9/11. Things had gone from bad to grim. The happy go lucky spirit of this music would never see the light of day. The world had changed before our eyes.

Mary Kowalczyk, Ed’s mother, called me right after the second plane hit. She wanted to know where Eddie was as he had been on the road to do press and promotion for the album. I assured her he was fine but hung up the phone and began to make frantic phone calls to management and Matt Gracey who was on the road with Ed. Thankfully, they were okay in Chicago.

To my surprise a friend called me to tell me to turn on VH1. Someone had set footage from ground zero to the music of “Overcome.” I stood and cried as it played. This was so much bigger than my band, our music or me. I knew Live would never be the same from that moment forward. A deep depression of sorts set in. The wave that surged throughout the 90’s had crested and now crashed on the flatlands of three toppled buildings and thousands of dead.
I began calling every radio station in the country requesting Overcome as a song offered by the band for healing. I called our management to tell the label to get a single release ready to sell in stores to benefit the victim’s families. To my dismay MCA refused to offer any funds or support despite the fact that nearly every radio format including country, R&B, top 40, jazz and blues stations were playing the song. I was so sad. Sad for those families. Sad for my own too. I wondered if anyone could understand the emotional toll 9/11 had taken on us as people. How could we perform? How would we get through?

Our management encouraged us to get back to doing what we did best, playing live shows. Our childhood hero’s Jane’s Addiction were mounting a comeback tour and we agreed to take the opening slot. Something we hadn’t done since Mental Jewelry. They gave us less than 10’ of the stage and only 6 par cans for lights. Big time, “rock star” bullshit. We played the first night with electric guitars blazing but the magic wasn’t there. We poured our hearts into the show but for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to be on stage. I didn’t want to play music. It just felt wrong.
I told Ed that night that I was headed home. We had worked too hard and too long to be treated this way. It felt disrespectful to the music and our fans. I was almost gone when Ed grabbed me and said we are not going out like this, “I have a plan.”

The next day, we went to the Salvation Army store to purchase Dickie brand overhauls and old beat up couches like the ones that used to adorn the rehearsal room in York. There would be no electric guitars, no rock star apparel. We would be the worker bees we knew how to be from our childhood in York. Ed said the songs would do the work as he handed out a set list of hit singles ending with Overcome. The next show was at Madison Square Garden. It would be the very first show after the terror attacks. Nearly every fire station was in attendance. There were thousands of firemen and rescue workers who had survived but lost, friends, family and co-workers.
I lowered my head into the cold curve of my acoustic guitar. I would not be able to face the crowd tonight. Ed turned the microphone to the crowd during the first chorus of Lightning Crashes. The sing along was bone chilling. Everyone knew we were saying goodbye.

To this day, I don’t know how Ed sang Overcome. I stood by the side of the stage as a spectator and watched his chest heave with the weight of the moment. He was amazing and there was not a dry eye in the house. When the house lights went on the crowd began to file out until there were only a few thousand remaining from the sold-out show for the opening refrains of the Jane’s Addiction set. This would not be a night for strippers in go-go cages.

Live pushed on, touring for V. We tried hard to pick up the pieces but the early energy drain of September was too great. In New Zealand, I leaned over a balcony fifty stories high and asked myself if I should jump. How could I be “living out my dream” and so deeply depressed? When I withdrew and returned to the hotel room I began to write my story down, trying to figure out how I came to this place. I birthed the concept of “Barely Breathing” that night and haven’t given up on it to this day. It is a constant reminder that we can find the light at the end of the tunnel. We can reach new dreams and new heights despite our personal obstacles.

Somehow we lost ourselves in the V cycle and the years that followed. The childhood innocence’s and enthusiasm had been replaced with stagnate set lists and a lack of fresh ideas that a rock band could sink into. We worked hard on Birds Of Pray but again; a producer was pushing and pulling against the natural grain that had delivered so many great moments. By the time Black Mountain came around, I could care less. Jim Wirt, the producer was writing all of the guitar parts. I took it as a challenge to find a way to further give of myself but I never stayed in the studio for more than a few hours at a time. This wasn’t my music any longer; this wasn’t the band I envisioned. I knew it was time to walk away but had no idea how to do it.

While in London touring for Black Mountain our former head of security arranged a dinner with the guys from Metallica. I hit it off with Lars right away as we drank copious amounts of Champagne and exchanged road stories. The scene was a little nuts. Lars was having dinner with his girlfriend while his nanny and ex-wife chased down the kids. Metallica had just released “Some Kind Of Monster” and I was fascinated by his willingness to break up his own band in order save their integrity. As we got deeper into the bottle, so did our discussions about my personal discord within my band. Lars told me I had no choice. The only way to save Live was to abort the mission and leave the band. My head was spinning.

A few hours had passed and we changed venues. We headed to a trendy bar inside a hotel. I couldn’t begin to tell you where we were, other than we were in London. As I ordered my drink I realized I was standing next to my old friend Dave Grohl. We hugged and shared our excitement for running into each other in the middle of London. I told Dave what Lars had been discussing at the restaurant and he too began to tell me it was time to venture out on my own. Dave recalled his memory of Live as a wild animal and added that we had somehow become tame. It was the truth and it hurt like hell.

The alcohol was taking heavy effect. My speech was slurred and I couldn’t walk straight. The lights went up in the bar and we exited into the hotel lobby. When the lobby elevator opened my friend Venus Brown emerged. Venus doesn’t drink and I knew I would have to try and act sober but I failed. He asked me if I was okay but I really couldn’t feel anything at this point. Will. I. Am and Venus helped me to a stool. I must be dreaming.

As I sat down I flipped backwards over the stool onto the floor. It was time for me to exit. All my dignity was gone. I no longer had control of my life. I had let politics, fear and friendship ruin the creative force that I loved so much and I had to come to terms with leaving.

When I woke, I was laying naked on the floor of the closet in my hotel room. I couldn’t recall how I had gotten there. I was very sick and dizzy from the alcohol. I stood up, pulled on my pants, a shirt and my jacket. There was an acoustic guitar in the room. I raised it over my head and began smashing it to pieces. I threw the guitar down the hallway as I exited the room. I had to walk. I needed fresh air.

Outside of the hotel, I raised my arm to flag down a taxicab. I entered and when asked “where to?” I replied Heathrow. This was it. I was going home to never return. I needed to save myself.
At the British Airway counter, I asked what was the first flight leaving for America. The attendant asked if I had any luggage and I began to laugh. She asked if I was okay and I said, “No, I need to get home now.” She had a flight to Washington D.C. and I took it. The flight was leaving in 20 minutes if I hurried I would make it. I stopped at a pay phone, called my wife and told her to pick me up and hung up without another word. I took my seat, feeling very uneasy about everything. When the wheels of the jet left the ground I left out a big breath. I had done it. Now I suddenly had to vomit.

I passed out for most of the flight and when I landed in Washington I felt weak and listless. My wife was waiting for me and we embraced. She told me that my friends were worried about me. Everyone had called her even our manager Gary Kurfirst who hadn’t called me in over five years. I asked her where the car was. I was ready to go. She had parked it in the long-term lot, far from the terminal. I knew what she was up to.

She told me she had arranged for two seats on a flight that left for Paris in one hour. I was angry. Everyone wanted me to return to the very thing that was killing me. I was trapped in my own dream. I sat quietly as we returned to Paris to join the band for the next show. Ed had called my close friend and neighbor, Doc Slovak and launched an ultimatum, “if I didn’t get my ass back there he would replace me.” I tried hard to justify my return as a way to support my own family and Patrick and Chad’s but this crisis only served to further divide Ed and I. He never asked me if I was okay or if I wanted to talk. This was no friendship at all. I finished the tour but doubled my efforts to produce films in order to get out. I needed Aurora more than ever.

To throw sand on the wound, my business manager called me to tell me the band had had discussions about me paying for my flight home and back. I couldn’t respond. Thankfully, Patrick and Chad came to my defense.

I made a personal resolution to let Live in Ed’s hands. I no longer responded to emails and I limited my participation in every way possible. I would try and be a professional musician. Show up, play my 12 notes and return home with as little drama as possible. We filmed Live, at the Paradiso in two nights. When I saw the magic that was on camera, I was overcome by emotion. We had documented the energy and efforts of a 20-year career together. The photographs captured it too and they are some of my favorites. When the album artwork showed up with Chad, Patrick and I in black and white and Ed in color it shot pain through my veins but I held back.

For some reason on that tour Ed would complain about the tuning of my guitar each and every night in the dressing room following the show. He would call Patrick at all hours of the night asking if we sounded okay. I had long talks with the techs. I begged someone to give me anything tangible that I could work on or fix. The board tapes sounded fine but the constant complaining was driving me mad. It was sucking the life out of me on stage. Ed demanded that we return to having a keyboardist, as it would be easier for him to sing to “solid” notes. I agreed and suggested a few options. At this point I was reaching for anything that would change the tension and heal the dynamic between Ed and the band.

My wife flew out to Chicago for our Anniversary. She brought with her the incredible news that my longtime friend and guitar tech was about to have twins with his bride, Lisa’s sister, Tricia. Matt didn’t know and I was sworn to secrecy. I knew Matt would be leaving the tour to go home and raise his family. I was so happy for him but it left me with one less person to lean on.

We decided to have a very rare band meeting to discuss keyboardist options. Ed had suggested that Michael “Raylo” Railton make a return, as we had little to no time to rehearse with someone who didn’t know the material. We had all heard that he had cleaned himself up and was sober after a long bought with crystal meth, the main reason he was no longer with us. Chad Gracey flipped out and said absolutely no way. When Ed asked him why he hated Raylo so much, Chad responded because he is a selfish drug addict who was bringing drugs, drug dealers and poor energy into his band. It was a very fair answer.

Raylo came back but only lasted a few gigs before he fell off the wagon. I sat with him in a very agitated state on a long bus ride to another show. He was talking a mile a minute and had wild eyes. I knew he had taken something but I wasn’t sure what. When we woke up in the morning Raylo was already in the hotel. We heard stories about him trying to help our assistant Corey with unloading the luggage. He was on a major bender. We soon discovered that nearly all of the vodka on the bus was gone. Raylo had drank over two fifths of vodka to himself. He had to go.
I walked with Patrick and our tour manager Bill Thompson to Raylo’s room and knocked on the door. When he answered we couldn’t see anything. The room was pitch black and it was 3 pm. Raylo could barely open his eyes. This would be the second time I had to fire him and it wouldn’t be easy. He cried and we hugged. Music was Raylo’s life but drugs were taking it from him. There was nobody who wanted him to succeed more than me but it just wasn’t meant to be. I called home to my kids and talked to them about the dreadful effect that drugs could have on your life. I told them about how desperately Raylo wanted to play music but he couldn’t overcome his addiction.

The tour ended and we headed home for break but for the first time in years there were no more plans to work on anything new or even tour for that matter. In one tour we had lost Matt Gracey and for the second time Raylo. We had a few European shows to play in the near future but no heavy touring.

While in The Hague, just before we were ready to go onstage Ed pulled me aside and asked me if I had seen the email he had sent out. I told him I hadn’t and he said we had to have a serious talk. It turned out that he was looking at my MySpace page and noticed that when the song “Heaven” began to play it said it was “by Chad Taylor.” He was enraged. He told me that for years he had been hearing stories about “my” songwriting and that I had even told a few people that I was writing “his” lyrics. This was maddening as I had no idea what he was talking about and knew I had never written “by Chad Taylor” on the MySpace page. I told him that I loved him and would never do anything to hurt him but he clearly wasn’t ready to hear me. We hit the stage in front of 50,000 Live fans and Ed and I ignored each other the entire show. Now I was pissed off too.

After the show, I went to my room and checked the MySpace page and sure enough in the player under the title “Heaven” it said “by Chad Taylor.” It turns out that the MySpace page defaults the song performance credit to the page holder’s name. In my case Chad Taylor. I was livid. Why didn’t he just simply call me or walk over to my room and ask me what was up? I sat in the hotel bar with Patrick, Chad and Bill Thompson as I tearfully held back my rage. This was insane if not pathological. Why was Ed coming at me so hard? Why couldn’t he give me some fucking space? Why was he snooping around on my MySpace page anyway?

I addressed an open letter to Live and our management declaring that I had never written a single Live lyric in my life. Frankly, I don’t even know the words to most of the songs. I could tell you the drum patterns and melodies but I’ve never had much interest in writing lyrics. I told Ed in this letter that my original passion for writing songs was as a canvas for his words. They were outside of the box, just like my music. Why now did he want to re-credit the entire catalog of past songs? Live was never his alone but he was sure acting like it. A close friend of mine gave me some very good advice. She said, “If you can give something and you won’t, you have to ask yourself why you won’t give it.” I knew in this case that she was right so I told Ed and the rest of the band it was theirs to determine the future and past destiny. I knew no effort to reclaim the past would change the vision that our fans had as of as a foursome. We were and will always be equals no matter who says differently or what the liner notes read.

The final blow came as I landed at LAX headed to play Ellen DeGeneres’s show. She had asked us to perform for her birthday. Gary Kurfirst had suddenly passed away. He had found us when we were ‘just’ 17 at C.B.G.B’s and had been involved with us until the day he died. My relationship with him wasn’t on good terms either. He rarely communicated with anyone in the band outside of Ed and I resented him for it. The lowest of lows set in for me. We would have to play Lighting Crashes as Ellen had personally requested it; we were now the heritage act I dreaded. I dawned dark shades and prayed the cameras wouldn’t catch my sorrow. I loved Gary for finding us but loathed him for supporting a system that divided my band. I wasn’t so much sad for him but for the future of the band. I had had enough.

I lost track of my “creative” buddies in Live. I didn’t write a single song for nearly six years. Recently, Patrick, Chad and I began jamming together and writing. The old spirit that birthed on Newberry Street had returned. There was a fire that I hadn’t felt in over ten years. Chad and Patrick felt it too but there was no Ed, just like the early days of middle school. It was just music. No pressure. No outside influence and nothing weighted or contrived. We were back in York with the original line-up.

So the dream begins again. We are going to find our singer and find a way to make the earnest, heartfelt rock n’ roll that the three of us love. We want the best for Ed and his music too. Hopefully he finds the happiness that the three of us share. It’s been a very long struggle for him to find his spiritual center but without the drama, I would have never pushed myself to find new creative outlets.

I’ve now completed fund raising and production on my first feature length film, “HOME.” It stars Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Harden. It had a short run in theaters and won some acclaim on the festival circuit. I am very proud of writer/director Mary Haverstick. You have no idea how hard she had to work to bring this intimately close story to life. My second role as producer is for our very own Aurora Films. It is a movie called, “Another Harvest Moon” and has a notorious cast attached. Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine headlines with Doris Roberts, Anne Meara, Cybil Shepperd and Richard Schiff. I worked my ass off on this film. I even drove the production truck to and from the set with props. In fact, when I pulled into the dock at the local hospital where we were borrowing a bed, the equipment manager nearly fell over when I jumped out of the truck.

There is no result without hard work. Hopefully the three of us find new success in music, film and television. I’m willing to take the risk. The fans that have supported Live’s music for all of these years are incredible and I hope they see the efforts Chad, Patrick and I make as a gift to their loyalty. We never want to take away from the music that Live made but rather add to it another dimension of understanding and resolution. I was always amazed at the depth of perception held by many of our most loyal fans. I read on many occasions’ thoughts and feelings about our music that echoed my very own. You helped push us when we needed pushed and held us up when we couldn’t stand. We hope you’ll stick with us for another 20-year ride.

[throwing_cheetahs]

Can anyone PM me these? JK , but seriously PM Me.

TC

[BERLINONE]

If I am correct I do own a version of Ecstatic Fanatic.
Will have a look this evening and if anything matches the list of BrokenGlass I will let the community know.
Fingers crossed.

BERLINONE

This post has been edited by BERLINONE: Mar 27 2015, 2:57 am

[SJN1279]

Hindsight is 20/20 but these were the number 1 and 2 top grossing films of the year with featured placement and absolutely no love from the label. I was sick to my stomach.

Mummy Returns was the #6 grossing movie in 2001. Fast and The Furious was #14. Very solid grosses, but not quite the top 2 movies as stated.