do ya'll remember Chad T.'s tour diary post........ Options

[fearisnottheend]

I can't remember if it was last year or the year before but i remember reading a really odd tour diary entry on the Friendsoflive website by Chad Taylor. It was left on the website for several days/weeks and then removed and the site was down for a while. When the site came back up there was no mention of the post.

The reason i ask is that it didn't seem like something Chad T. would write. Was that something done by a hacker?

I've been wondering about this for a while. Now that i found this incredible web-site, i figured i'd ask.

[jonesy]

Do you mean the one in NZ where he is looking off the balcony?

[fearisnottheend]

I'm not sure i remember anything about that.

This one had alot to do with sex. Multiple partners, his wife, his daughter's sex life in the future.

I hesitate to even post that much because i don't want to spread anything.

It was just a very strange post. It happened right around the time he wrote about getting into a fight on the boardwalk. I really have no clue if it was really him posting that or not.

Again, i'm not trying to spread rumors, i was just wondering if ya'll knew anything about this.

[Schlomo]

I remember exactly what you're talking about. I thought for some reason or another I had saved it, but unfortunately couldn't find it. But yeah it was about him wanting to jump off a balcony or something, and I do remember the talk about sex. Something like sex is a beautiful thing, and I don't wanna keep my daughter from it.

At the time, I thought it was really cool and really deep and I even shared it with a couple friends. Be pretty awkward if he hadn't wrote it...drunk maybe?

[NectarDan]

Here is Chad's entry from the FOL tour diary on December 24th, 2004...
__________________________________

Scott Joplin (ragtime pioneer) and Oscar Robertson (only man to average a triple double in the NBA) have always been my aliases when we tour. They share my birthday and I hope I share in their greatness. Neil Young was born on the 15th and Jimi on the 27th. I guess that would put me right in the middle of my two heroes. Perfect.

I am in body 34 years old today but my spirit feels no connection to the body. Three years ago in New Zealand I thought long and hard about letting this body go. It would have been a long fall. I leaned as far as I could over the balcony of a fifty story hotel and asked myself, "Is that the answer?" At the time I felt so incredibly lonely and sad. I thought LIVE had run its course and, most important to me, I was afraid Ed and my boys no longer wanted or needed me. Yet, I was far from home trapped by a tour without my wife or our kids. Why would I let myself get this low? I have shared these thoughts with almost no one.

Death wasn't all that bad. I was sad for those who were left behind, but the weight of my baggage was no longer a burden. My past was just that, past. Enter the rebirth. All of my contraction gone. In this new life I would not hold back. I would love without limit. I would celebrate joy and happiness and give unconditionally. I would own nothing.

I sold my house and cars. I began to write my own songs and produce. I renewed my friendship and love with the boys. I wrote it all down and turned it into a television show. I met many women. I shared myself like never before. I pulled my family back together. I set my wife free and know her better than ever. Honestly, we should all die this death.

No more religion for me. Nothing that will separate me from anyone else. Blissful heart. fuck, drink, hug, kiss, smell, breath, give, BE. Its all my drama and yours too. Why did it take me over thirty years to cut that fucking baggage loose?

What was I waiting on? I knew this was possible.

Lisa has been so amazing for me. Never once has she demanded me for herself exclusively. She told me that she always knew I was married to the energy of light, love, and joy. She never called me home from a tour, never questioned my faith or belief in her or my guys. In fact I am pretty sure that at times she was the one connection between my amazing friend Ed and I. The anti-Yoko.

Ed's wife tried too. When Ed wrote V on his own I was crushed, and she was the only person that took me aside to explain that Ed still loved me. I was really fucking confused, but could feel her heart as though it was mine. Thanks Erin.

My girls just called to sing Happy Birthday to me. I hope daddy can show them this freedom. I can't stand when people imply that the teenage years will be really difficult - which means when your girls start having sex. What bullshit. I want those girls to find bliss. Physically and spiritually evolved women are the glue that hold us together. The mother force is not to be fucked with. The ultimate oneness is within every woman, and I would never encourage my wife or daughters to not share that. Nothing compares to that unity.

Sure you can boil it down to simple physical pleasure, but in the physical moment you have a spiritual journey even when you don't seek or want one. That is the point of Yoga, it begins in the body and ends in oneness of the soul. This is why Lisa and I have the Yoga studio.

Can you feel the violence, the noise of fear and death? What are you and I doing to hush the madness? What is a flag, a government, or this elusive democracy that the US is fighting for?

We just watched an electoral campaign of fear. It came from all sides, this fear of what we are, what we will be, and what we will have. Huh?

I will never vote for fear! I will never vote for a country of lost souls who claim to be a nation under God yet have little to do with truth or purity. When my friends in our armed forces die for this fear 'of what we are not' I am destroyed. Freedom is in you, not outward. Yes, these other forces are scared too. Just as Bush has his head smashed into Christianity, the Muslim word is holding fast to its fear too. At their core both of these religions are just, but what God justifies separation? Obviously this is a human interpretation that only ties itself to contraction.

I ask you if there was no God would we have peace?

If there was no government would we fall apart into anarchy as all imply?

Probably not.

Do you care?

Do I?

Never again will I sleep. I had thirty years of rest. Happy birthday Chad, your only three, just a little kid in a mixed up world of adults and none of them are having fun. Does anyone want to play? I do.

Love Chad

[Lively Chick]

Damn, that's some deep shit

This post has been edited by Lively Chick: May 29 2006, 12:44 pm

[Gertjan]

That's what I call awake.

I did read it before but thanks for posting. You can't read it too many times.

[sandkind]

and i just thought ed was fucked up...lol

in fact, i respect his and ed's personal beliefs, but they are very different from mine. i just want to hear the boys jam!

[Lively Chick]

^ same here, bro

[sherocker]

fuck, drink, hug, kiss, smell, breath, give, BE.

I must remember that!..... Very cool interview, thanks Dan for putting it up

[StompingKirsten]

it's shit like this... that makes me love them even more. so deep. love reading their inner thoughts, it's so intriguing!