New Blog from Chad T, Interesting read folks. Options

[OutToDry]

New Blog from ALLTHINGSCHADTAYLOR:


Very deep stuff from Chad. I'd like to wish my sincere apologies to him for his personal losses and struggles, and hope the New Year springs eternal. It takes a lot to open up personally like that in a public forum and admit your faults. Happy Holidays Chad.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Today I am contemplating the end of the year and seeking the holiday spirit of giving and forgiveness. I need a little of both. I've reached the end of December and once again it is time to renew my commitments for the New Year. Shiva, the destroyer or transformer dominated my year as I broke down and closely examined many of the relationships and principles that have encompassed my life for thirty-nine years. The Shaivites believe that without transformation there can be no growth or expansion of the human spirit. I can closely relate. Many times in my life, I have had to play out the role of the great destroyer. It is never easy and I can honestly say I take no pleasure in tearing things down but I will nonetheless.

I am a Sagittarian and have loyalty as a dominant element of my fire sign. I've pushed, pulled and manipulated nearly every aspect of my life rarely finding a place of comfort or stability for more than a week or two. I am always reinventing myself. I change so much physically that I rarely recognize myself in photographs yet I've been very cautious not to change or alter my relationships as I hold them sacred. Most of my friends find me dominating, augmentative but a whole lot of fun to be around. It's not easy being my friend, business partner, wife or child. Your comfort makes me uncomfortable. After all how can one grow or be up to something if they aren't beginning anew? Stability is not my strong suit unless it comes to friendship and love. On those parts my devotion is second to none. Beware of my extraordinary temper. In a flash I have ripped you open for no other reason than you crossed an unwritten boundary of respect. If you forget to show it to me, I will remind you. I live by an unspoken law higher than myself and you will be forced to obey it at all costs. It is defined by truth, honesty and compassion.

I am dyslexic. I have a very hard time thinking or understanding the criteria defined by most. Music allowed me to harness my brains capacity to think out of the box. I find music to be a simple series of equations that must reach resolution. Push, pull and release. I am extremely confident in my ability to feel and express it and I can almost always sense when the collective "yes" is attained. On the other hand my dyslexia wasn't discovered until my daughter was diagnosed a few years ago. I have an extremely hard time grasping a complex series of orders or instructions. I am a poor speller and my grammar can be less than desirable. My dyslexia surely had its upsides but I am also left with defense mechanisms to cover my shortfalls. Although I may front as being confident, at times as I am desperately confused and grasping for solutions that will bring me back to my comfort zone. Without my gut instinct I would be lost. My primary education was overwrought with deficiencies and I struggled to identify my own discipline of self-education and growth. I continue with this battle every day.

I've learned to embrace "spell check" and seek my friend's advice and guidance on grammar and syntax. I also embraced spreadsheets and many other forms of forced organization. The computer has radically changed my ability to learn, my ability to create and my ability to stay organized, a true blessing in my case.

I've learned to forgive myself for my many shortfalls. I've learned to forgive my friends for their many shortfalls. Only in the cracks, fissures and flaws of life do we find the beauty of perfection, grace and skill.

I sought the comfort of a rock band to help me conceal my flaws only to find them exposed as my greatest assets. I sought the comfort of friendship to feel secure and have never felt more exposed and vulnerable than when betrayed. I sought the sanctity of marriage with no expectation of the pain I could bring by to my family by not being there. There are no shortcuts or easy solutions to this life but I'm sure that embracing love, beauty and grace can make even the toughest moments pass.

In 2009 I lost my friend Wendell, my manager Gary, my grandmother Julia and my band Live. I have my memories of Wendell and Gary; the photographs of my grandmother and the albums, tours and songs of Live. They all live on. I could have been a better friend to Wendell. I could have been a better grandson and I most certainly could have handled things better in Live (public and private).

In 2009 I helped to birth "Another Harvest Moon," "Andretti, Set, Go!," and The Gracious Few. I also became the godfather of an amazing little boy, Phoenix Gracey. I saw my brother Adam grow into a man on stage and my dear friend Carson take his production skills to a new level. I ventured into new businesses far outside my comfort zone and found success that I never dreamed possible (thanks Stephen). I reunited with old friends David Sestak, Kevin Martin and Jerry Harrison. I helped launch Questionable Entertainment with an incredible group of guys. So yes, 2009 was tough but it was also one of my greatest years.

In spirit, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for any actions or thoughts that caused hurt, pain or sorrow in your life. I assure you my intention is and always will be to create positive energy. As always, I could use your help getting there.

Happy Holidays to all!


Chad Taylor Posted by Chad Taylor at 5:37 PM 1 comments

This post has been edited by OutToDry: Dec 16 2009, 1:03 am

[Wambangalang]

hmm, no....my cheeks still go pretty red at "angelic little devil of the most secret space"...